Day 21: A Quiet Day - A Day to Reflect

I spent a lot of time today in deep thought. I think everyone else did too because it was very quiet in my house.

We called this morning to see how everyone was doing at Grandma's. They are feeling exactly how one would expect.

Since Grandma lived such a long full life, and did not die of illness, disease or anything traumatic, there is a kind of peace that lies over this death.

There is grief at the loss of course, but the overall feelings seem to reflect more the ending of a generation.

I have experienced so much death in my life. I always thought there was nothing unusual about that as death is the ending to every single life... but in knowing my husband's family I have learned that not every family experiences as much death as mine.

My husband still has both of his parents. I do not.
My husband just yesterday lost his last grandparent, I lost mine years ago.

Each of us handles loss differently. My husband keeps telling me "I'm okay"... and he appears okay, however he is very quiet and cleaned the kitchen and scrubbed the kitchen floor today.

He needed to DO something without actually doing something. I recognized it and I left him alone. Is it unusual for him to clean the kitchen? No. What struck me as odd, however, was him scrubbing the kitchen floor. That spoke volumes. Yes... it needed it... that's not the point.

The viewing will be Tuesday and the funeral will be Wednesday and I'm sure his emotions will get away from him on one of those days. This was his Grandma, and she died one day after his birthday. I'm not sure yet how deeply this is really affecting him, but I know him well enough to know it IS affecting him no matter what he says.

I will allow him to deal with this however he needs... and when he needs me I'll be here.

Nite World