Day 3: Just another day.... Just me..... nuff said!

I woke up on and off all night with a throbbing headache and stomach cramps. When the alarm went off this morning at 4:00 a.m. I woke up with the same symptoms and so decided to call into work sick.

I hate doing that. It feels like I'm doing something wrong by staying home.

Funny thing is... I used to have absolutely the WORST work ethic! When I was younger I would stay home at the drop of a hat! "Ooops! I have an eyelash in my eye... I need to call in sick!" "Oh Nooo... that lock of hair won't stay where I want it to... I need to call in sick!" (laughs at self)

It's one of two things. Either I've matured or I finally have the right job and work for the right company, surrounded by the right co-workers.

Whichever doesn't matter, the point is that now if I stay home from work it's legitimate, but I always FEEL like I'm playing hookie! I always feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Well, I decided to keep my mouth shut for a while about what I found on my husband's computer. I don't feel like undergoing any confrontation right now. I'm drained when it comes to that issue anyway. I don't know anything else to say about it... I don't know what else to do about it.

If I don't eventually leave him, I'll have to deal with it all again when/if there are grandchildren. That frightens me, but makes me even sicker to my stomach than I am right this minute so I push it aside for the time being and try to go on with my daily life.

If I were to ever leave... it would have to be a "stealth-mode special ops" situation. I would have to get everything ready before hand and then just go. There's a lot involved when you've been with someone for 16 years.

Soooo. Happy or not I just stay.

Some days are happy. Some days he is just such a great person that it helps me forget.

Some days.